Day 16 – exhausted

I’m having a rather exhausted morning and had planned on a fairly lazy one, then I discovered I actually was driving my eldest to work…again. Which is over an hour there and back. Oh joy. After dropping him off Jasper dog and I went for a short run on the beach, it’s not one we’ve run on before and although beautiful wouldn’t be my first choice simply because it’s so busy. I quite like to have no people when I exercise, it’s headspace time. That sounds dreadfully antisocial I realise! It was a pleasant short plod, though I do wish I would occasionally feel like I’m progressing with running. It never gets easier and I never get faster! I do always feel better for it though.

This evening I’m watching Bohemian Rhapsody with my daughter, I’ve seen the film before and love it so I’m really looking forward to that!

Today’s food in words and some pictures!

Breakfast

Grapes, blueberries, yoghurt and cacoa nibs

Lunch

Corn crackers with cream cheese and baby corn.

Dinner

Chicken korma – banana, coconut milk, and chicken breast with poppadoms and brown rice.

Snacks

An Ella ball thing and 100 dark

Total sugars (all unrefined)

Day 15 – a catch up on the week

I think I passed the course, though how I did with everything going on heavens knows. I think the distraction was probably a good thing. I came home last night really apprehensive.

Today I spent the morning on the phone to various professionals today virtually begging for help for my son. They are pretty much of the opinion that the only one who can stop taking drugs is the person taking drugs. Which is an awful thing but true. The whole think is so sad and I really hope he chooses to get well.

Anyway I stuck to my no sugar, no booze in the midst of all this and while on a course away from home. There were times I was very tempted though. Especially to comfort eat. The university is amazing and such a friendly environment to the point where they had a tea trolley arrive mid morning and mid afternoon with a tea and scones or pastries. Pure torture!

Look how lovely these are!!

I stuck to my guns by when I arrived getting a Tesco delivery to meet me where I was staying. I’d brought a lunch box and took packed lunches every day. Then cooked in the evening. There have been two times I’ve eaten out yesterday and today. Yesterday I went to pret as they have quite plain salad boxes. I just didn’t add the dressing. Today I ordered a grilled chicken salad without croutons and dressing.

I haven’t managed to photograph everything etc, with the course and all the drama just sticking to no sugar no booze has been hard enough but I will try this week!

Day 11 – whine, whine, wine

I really want a large cold glass of dry white wine. I want it so much I can taste it in the back of my throat that delicious cool crispness. I don’t drink regularly or eat badly, but like a lot of people when life is tough I have the urge to comfort myself with nice things, it’s an almost primal urge. I had green tea instead.

I’m in the middle of a family dispute with my son, of course the irony of being on a mediation training course while in the middle of a family dispute is not lost on me.

Anyway onto today, the mediation course is really interesting although during some of the role playing practices I felt myself almost tearing up as I’m feeling so vulnerable. Playing at being in conflict while heartbroken and in conflict is rather weird.

Today’s food- just in words

Breakfast

Oats, mango, almond milk

Lunch

Bun with egg mayo, salad

Dinner

Potato waffles, 3 eggs, tinned peas

Raspberries, blueberries, pomegranate seeds creme fraiche

Day 10

I arrived in Musselburgh for my mediation course with my daughter (who didn’t want to be at home) at around 5. We were both tired and hungry, really really hungry. My brain isn’t working either..stress little lowers my iq to that of pond weed. Thanks to the wonders of Google maps we found a co-op and bought the most sugar free things possible, which ended up being a really random bunch of stuff, but it means I had food for this evening and for a packed lunch tomorrow.

Tired but I need to try and get my head together though for the practical week of my uni course that starts tomorrow.

Today’s food, just in words

Breakfast

Boiled eggs, corn crackers, butter

Lunch

Corn crackers, cheese, butter.

Dinner

Bread buns, Coop egg mayo, coleslaw, cheese, salad, raspberries, cashew nuts

Snacks

Date bar, dark chocolate

Total sugars

Really low for today as I haven’t had a chance to eat properly so no veg etc.